Gadjo Disko – Glamour + Sickle Fashion Show

by angeliska on August 14, 2009

Sorry for any radio silence, kittens-
I am so busy getting ready for this:


Gadjo Disko Eastern Bloc Party is a throwdown ethnotechno diskoteka dance party
with extravagantly spangled attendees rump-shakin’ to DJ Chicken Kiev
and a bevy of acts including The Amazing Franzsiska,
Mistress Stephanie and Her Melodic Cat, as well as a
Diskostani Glamour + Sickle Fashion Show by local avant-garde designers including:
Shi Feticcio of Cross Couture
Katinka Pinka
Ayers Design
The Fringe Society
Mange la Mode
Matt.com
Sid
Alisan
Lali Ferpecto
Jade Rumour of Amelia’s Retrovogue
Rhythm Method Sparklefingers
A. Flynn
Baron Zubi
Hermie Escamilla
Angeliska
Cicada at Dusk
Ekaterina Konovalova
Lyu Rad
We promise to serve you only 100% recycled culture!
Immigrant Punk – Balkan Beats – Baile Funk
Slavic Hip-Hop – Ghettotech – Diskoteka
It all happens Saturday, August 15th
from 10pm-4am
at the Cockpit, 113 San Jacinto.
Dress to transgress = $7-$15
www.gadjodisko.com
I can’t even express how excited I am about this show-
so many incredible people have come together to make it happen,
it’s really kind of mind-blowing. I can’t wait to see the show!
Please do come, if you are able- and spread the word!

Until the Sphinx Winks

by angeliska on August 10, 2009


I attended another 1929 party recently, and got dolled up accordingly-
in a vampy-boudoir doll ensemble à la Theda Bara or Pola Negri.
If there is any era I feel a total resonance with, it’s absolutely the late teens and 20’s.
Oh for a time machine! I imagine it all the time. An ideal period for art, fashion, music
and culture in general- yet with most of the modern conveniences! Perfect.
I’ve always resonated with the deco aesthetic, and think I would fit in just fine
if I could indeed travel back and appear out of thin air (preferably at a wild party,
with lots of champagne!) I could swoon just thinking about it.
How about you? I love to ask this question- it’s always so fascinating
to learn what time period one would revisit, and why!


I found this foto decadent, but I can’t recall anymore than that just now-
pretty fabulous though, no? I need that dress, right now.

After Galliano’s Ukranian Brides show, his Boudoir Doll show may take the cake as my all-time favorite.

(via Queen Gilda)
I love love love the maquillage! Broken dollfaces! Sybaritic sirens! I faint, and devour.

(Miss T. Verhext at the Edwardian Ball)

Miss Gala Darling did an interview recently with Dawn of Boudoir Queen– go take a look!

I met Dawn at Uncommon Objects– it’s always fun to see what treasures she will find there
and incorporate into her designs. Lots of metallic lace, tattered satin bed jackets and velvet roses!

This amazing puppet was hand-carved and operated by Heather Jarry,
and voiced by Luna Tart– one of the many
delightful performances we saw that night.
She sang “I love Paris” and danced salaciously, as did we.

Franziska and Amelia gallivanting outside the Carousel Lounge-
they both have the perfect faces for capturing the jazz-baby essence.
I’ll definitely taking these girls in the time machine with me!

Oh yes, and the smoldering Ekaterina! Cha-cha-cha!
I’ve also been inspired to read more about the
beautiful and damned Zelda Fitzgerald
lately, and discovered these gems:
When Harper & Brothers asked Zelda to contribute to
“Favorite Recipes of Famous Women” she wrote:
“See if there is any bacon, and if there is ask the cook which pan to fry it in.
Then ask if there are any eggs, and if so try and persuade the cook to poach two of them.
It is better not to attempt toast, as it burns very easily. Also, in the case of bacon do not turn
the fire too high, or you will have to get out of the house for a week.
Serve preferably on china plates, though gold or wood will do if handy”.

The piece led to Zelda receiving offers from other magazines.
In June, a piece by Zelda Fitzgerald, “Eulogy on the Flapper”,
was published in Metropolitan Magazine. Though ostensibly
a piece about the decline of the Flapper lifestyle,
Zelda’s biographer Nancy Milford wrote that the essay was
“a defense of her own code of existence”.
Zelda described the Flapper:
“The Flapper awoke from her lethargy of sub-deb-ism,
bobbed her hair, put on her choicest pair of earrings and
a great deal of audacity and rouge and went into the battle.
She flirted because it was fun to flirt and wore a one-piece
bathing suit because she had a good figure …
She was conscious that the things she did
were the things she had always wanted to do.
Mothers disapproved of their sons taking the Flapper
to dances, to teas, to swim and most of all to heart.”

Also, I am eagerly anticipating Zelda Magazine,
which will be published biannually and will launch in Fall 2009.
“Zelda is a new publication for aficionados of early 20th century culture!
Photography, fashion, arts, illustration, music, cocktails,
social events, and special features : Zelda includes pieces
on both vintage subjects as well as contemporary culture in the style of vintage.”
Sounds like the bee’s knees, eh?

Foxes in the Rain

by angeliska on August 9, 2009

Today something magical happened:
it rained while the sun was shining.
I know perhaps it’s not so very rare,
but when it does occur and the opportunity
for dancing around madly in it present itself-
well, it really is pure magic, straight-up.
The light turns golden, and the drops
are slanting out over the road, and there’s
just one big fat grey cloud pouring down
overheard in an otherwise clear blue sky.
When I watched Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams
many years ago, I learned that when this happens,
the foxes are having their wedding.
Beware unwittingly stumbling upon their procession!
Gate-crashers are punished severely.


This scene made a huge impression on me.



(Photo by Isado)
I always grew up hearing “The devil is beating his wife!”
whenever a sunshower happened- it’s apparently
a Southern thing. I peeked around and found a wealth
of lore regarding this meteorological phenomenon
(on Wikipedia, of course) which I will share now
with you, because it’s fantastic:
* In South African English, it is referred to as a “monkey’s wedding,”
a loan translation of the Zulu umshado wezinkawu, a wedding for monkeys.
In Afrikaans, it is referred to as jakkalstrou, jackals wedding, or also
“Jakkals trou met wolf se vrou as dit reen en die son skyn flou”, meaning
“Jackal marries Wolf’s wife when it rains and the sun shines faintly.”
* In Hindi it is also called “the jackal’s wedding.”
* In Bengali it is called a devil’s wedding.
* In Arabic, the term is “the rats are getting married.”
* Bulgarians speak of the Devil’s marrying.
* In Korea, a male tiger gets married.
* In various African languages, leopards are getting married.
* In Kenya, hyenas are getting married.
* One animal, the fox, crops up all over the world, from Kerala to Japan
(Japan also refers to it as ‘Kitsune (the fox) takes a bride,’);
there’s even an English dialect term, “the foxes’ wedding,”
known from the south west of England. In Calabria, Italy,
it is said that “when it rains with sun, the foxes are getting married.”
In Polish, the saying is that “when the sun is shining and the rain is raining, the witch is making butter.”
For Filipinos, “elves are getting married”, or “tikbalang” (half-horse, half-men) and a “kapre” are getting married,
while in Spain it is witches, and in Greece it is the poor.
In Lithuanian, the phenomenon is described as “orphans’ tears,”
where the sun is the grandmother drying those tears.
In Russian, it is called грибной дождь (gribnoy dozhd’), “mushroom rain,”
as such conditions are considered favorable to growing mushrooms.
It is also often referred to as слепой дождь (slepoy dozhd’}, which literally translates as “blind rain”.
In the United States, particularly the South, a sunshower is said
to show that “the devil is beating his wife.” In German, the variation is
“Wenn’s regnet und die Sonne scheint, so schlägt der Teufel seine
Großmutter: er lacht und sie weint,” or “When it’s raining and the sun shines,
the devil is beating his grandmother: he laughs and she cries.”
Similar phrases occur in Hungary and Holland. The lower Caribbean
also has a notable variant, “The devil and his wife are fighting for a bone”.
A regional variant from Tennessee is “the devil is kissing his wife.”
Well, whaddya know! What do you call it?

Today was poignant and pensive for me, so I was glad to have
such a benediction to marvel at and frolic in.
August 8th is the 22nd anniversary of my mother’s death.
Hard to fathom, really. It’s something I’ve been processing
very slowly- and for many, many years (most of my childhood)
not at all. My aunt gave me some things that were hers recently:
her hand-tooled guitar strap, her psychedelic sculpture, a painting.
There’s so much I want to understand about who she was,
and who I am- and the only way I can find to do it is by writing.

Look at her beautiful red curls! That’s me when I was very new,
and my cousin all pink-cheeked and bowl-headed.
I feel that at some point in my life, part of my work
will be focused on helping people deal with death + loss.
I get so angry when I think about how much we’ve lost the
ability to mourn our dead, and the loss of our traditions
and even our words to speak of grief. Or, truly- to listen.
It’s not something to be spoken of, or written about
these days, and that’s just wrong. I will not spend another
day of my life tip-toeing around it, and one day
I hope to change the way death is processed in this country.
Our culture has lost its memory- the roads we traveled to
get to where we are now are buried and lost.
More on this soon- it’s a subject I’m very passionate about,
and I’d be grateful to hear your views on it.
For further reading on the subject of mi madre and this date,
turn back the pages of the bee-log and read:
Triumvirate Lemniscate
Gustav + Mama – August 8th

Foot Patrol

by angeliska on August 5, 2009

Apologies for the extremely short notice, but if you’re anywhere near New York
this week, I must entreat you to hie yourself into the city to check out Foot Patrol!
They are one of my local favorite bands, known for churning their devoted fans
and even the most apathetic of hipsters into a frothing, booty-shakin’ frenzy.
For real. You see, Foot Patrol is a foot-fetish inspired funk-theater juggernaut
replete with sexy butoh dancers in cop uniforms, ripped stockings and mustaches,
a be-wigged gavel-wielding drummer, and a bad ass horn section.
It’s one of those things you really just have to experience to understand,
but I swear to you that if you make your way down to one of these shows
you will thank me profusely later. If only I could be there to shake it with you!
(Soon! I bought my tickets to NYC last night! I’m there from September 11-23rd.)

(Photo by Don Mason)
My friend Mr. Patrick Hambrecht of Flaming Fire wrote a great article
about them for Vice
, which I will now quote from heavily:
“Back when Texas’s acid-punk (Butthole Surfers, Crust, Ed Hall, Helios Creed) scene
was in full swing, a lot of the musicians from those bands worked at the Texas School
for the Blind and Visually Impaired
between tours, including Teresa from the Butthole Surfers,
aka that girl featured on the Slacker movie poster who tries to sell Madonna’s pap smear in the film.
And it was some of those very strange people who first discovered TJ Wade,
a pre-teen blind prodigy who could instantly play anything he heard on keyboards.

(Photo by Ish)
TJ would compose lofi funk soundtracks on a keyboard as MC Terroristic,
and then rap about which girls he likes and which teachers he wanted to blow up,
stuff like that. His lyrics regarding teachers were really, really mean, and very, very funny.
He also loved the Ruins, and covered a lot of their songs too.
So…some of the acid-punk pioneers/blind school employees recorded his first album
for him on the sly (because you can get fired for encouraging kids to sing about how
much they’d like to kill teachers), and soon he was getting offers from major labels
to work with musicians like Christina Aguilera and Alicia Keyes.”


(Photo by Emily Kinsolving)

Photo by Cory Ryan
TJ Wade: “I’ve always been open about [my foot fetish]. I developed one at the age of 10.
We’d play footsies with each other, and at 13, that’s when it got extreme.
I didn’t write my first foot fetish song until ’05—“Foot Party Anthem”—
and that’s what really kicked it off. A big shout out to everyone that gets it.
To those who don’t get it, they’ll get it soon. They’ll be infected with the funk
once they’ve heard us. I love feet and making music about feet,
and if it’s all right for people to dance to, that’s the most important thing.”

(Photo by Cory Ryan)
Seriously- What the foot? Go see them, if you know what’s good for you:
If you hustle, you can catch them tonight at Goodbye Blue Monday
Friday, August 7th at Union Pool with Light Asylum,
Rubber Room Rats, and Evolution Revolution – 10 pm
Saturday, August 8th at Highline Ballroom in Manhattan/Chelsea District
with Flaming Fire, Four Legged Baby, and Crime Scene – 7:00 pm

Coconut Honey

by angeliska on July 30, 2009

Is it really Thursday again, already? Whew!
Crazy-times. (Oops, it’s Friday now! Hah.)
So hard not to be a totally nocturnal marsupial these days!

♡ The other night I had insomnia and stayed up way too late
reading Lil Wayne interviews and developing a big crush. Oh Weezy.
Here’s a treat, if by chance you’re not familiar with his particular
kind of martian magic – my friends DJ D. Lefty Parker + Alison Fensterstock
of New Orleans posted their Waynecast
– a mix of mixtapes old and new
and my favorite music to work to. His massive work ethic is a serious inspiration to me.
Also: Mister DJ Rusty Lazer told me that his favorite thing Weezy’s said is that
“..If he wants to see a Shakespearean play he won’t go to the theater…
He’ll just get 12 naked girls to act it out for him!”

So all this got me thinking, and while I was thinking,
I got this message from my friend Peggy,
saying.. “Lil Wayne called – he & Vince Noir (aka. Noel Fielding)
wanna take us on a doubledate when I get back to town – can’t wait!”


So that’s my dreamboat-doubledate right now! Me + Weezy + Noel + Peggy
would go to a fancy ice-cream parlor where we could have any flavor we wanted
(How about carrot? Root-beer! Telephone flavor! Fig + Fennel!)
and then we’d all go bowling, and then get on a boat and sail off to Tahiti!
Once we arrive in the islands, hopefully we can see that naked lady Shakespeare play!
Oh, wait- also I’d invite Dr. Oliver Sacks! I have so many questions for that man.
Also, he has the most adorable accent ever. He sounds a bit like Edward Ka-Spel at times.

There’s a good article in Harper’s on Dr. Sacks’s latest book,
Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain where he talks
more about these perfidious “brainworms” and “the piper’s maggot”!
Okay, so what’s your magic fantasy double
(or triple/quadruple/et cetera!) dream-date of the moment?
♡ There’s a wonderful article in the Home and Garden section of
The New York Times online that I highly recommend reading-
and you must look at the photographs in the slideshow!

The New Antiquarians – Cultivating a Late 19th-Century Style at Home
♡ Despite how ridiculously busy I am at the moment,
I started reading Perdido Street Station, by China Miéville– finally!
It’s bizarre that I had never read it, and it’s the perfect
big fantastical chunker of an escape for summertime.

♡ If you haven’t ordered your copy of Coilhouse Issue No. 3 yet,
I promise you will thank me after it arrives. It really is an incredible
treasure to behold. I’m savoring mine. Mmm, glossy savagery + genius!
It features many of my favorite artists and musicians, including (but not limited to!):
Vania Zouravliov! Marina Bychkova! Nils Frykdahl!
♡ I learned a bad-ass new card game from the aforementioned Mister DJ Rusty Lazer
called Russian 3 Card- I’ll teach you how to play it! It’s pretty addictive, and super-fun.
♡ The divine Miss Tamera Ferro made my day/week/month/year
with her sweet words and special mix she made just for me!
Go listen!
I’ve been playing it over and over and over!
Coconut Bliss Bars are my favorite thing to eat lately.
Best popsicle available, for real. Maybe I should go have one right now!
I love coconut anything and everything. It’s so fluffy and heavenly, and makes me
feel incredible. Mountain Ocean’s Coconut Skin Trip lotion
is the absolute best for the summer- I wish I could drink it!
♡ Instead of drinking lotion, I will go to Cheer Up Charlie’s,
the best raw-vegan-chocolate-magic served in a coconut
out of a trailer window by an adorable smiling creature
that you will ever experience in your lifetime. For real.
Their raw coconut horchata is pretty damn orgasmic.
With that, I depart for a bed full of dogs and a head
full of visions of coconuts with straws sticking out of them
– Goodnight!

Dog Days

by angeliska on July 30, 2009



We adopted a puppy! Well, she’s six months old-
but that still counts, right? I was walking past the
Austin Pets Alive adoption station after work the
other day, and she caught my eye.
She’s super wiggly, and thus really difficult
to photograph- especially if you want to be in
the picture with her! I have lots of blurry
nose-licking shots of us now.

May I present: Prinzesse Grrizelda!
She came with the name Zelda, which we like-
so she’s that for short. As in Zelda Fitzgerald
and let’s not forget Zelda Rubinstein
who portrayed the seer Tangina in Poltergeist!
Clearly, she’s a Prinzesse because her favorite spot
is the velvet loveseat. How fancy- ooh-la-la chienne!
She’s part German Shepherd, part something else-
probably black lab, with pointy ears and big feet.
I love her soft black coat with silvery smoke frosted shadows
on her haunches, and the white star over her heart.

I fall more and more in love with her every moment.
She’s super-lovey, incredibly sweet natured
and curls up in the bed with her head on the pillow!
I was so relieved to discover that she’s good around people
and the other animals. For the most part she’s remarkably
well behaved. That is, except when left to her own devices..

There has been one casualty since Prinzesse Grrizelda’s arrival:
R.I.P. Granny Wolf – she was gifted to me after the hurricane,
and provided much joy and comfort in those dark days.

She will be missed. Most especially by Rusty Jacknife,
who did like to bite her snoot- though not as much as some!

I found this bit of evidence (her eyeball!), which I shall make into jewelry.

The crime-scene: Zelda’s nest of destruction, which we discovered
after coming home from dinner the other night. The first few days
were fine, but I think she was feeling a bit cooped up, and had
some separation anxiety being away from us. She made this
little party palace with our dirty socks and underpants,
unspooled balls of twine, chewed on pill-bottles,
shredded boxes, smashed perfume bottles,
and yes- chewed off Granny Wolf’s face!
I mean, I guess it’s lucky that she has other heads-
(regular Granny and Red Riding Hood under the skirt)
but obviously, I always loved Granny Wolf’s face best.
Oh yes, and she also devoured a big box of dates
and then the next day vomited all over the house.
Something like 17 piles of dog barf- in the bed, too.
Welcome to having a puppy! You know you really
love your dog when you look at them after all of
this and just want to cuddle them anyway.

Thelonius still has not regained his sight,
though he is adjusting admirably.
It’s been so hard for us to accept.
As far as we can tell, he has
Vogt-Koyanagi-Harada (VKH) syndrome.
It’s a hereditary auto-immune disease
where the T-cells attack the pigmented cells-
everywhere. When his little black nose started
turning white, we realized what we were dealing with.
He’s on a lot of medication, but seems to be doing better.
We are hoping that having a companion will be good
for him, and he likes Grrizelda, though sometimes
her antics make him curmudgeonly and snappish,
though that’s to be expected from any 9 year old dog.
He’s the smartest, most wonderful dog in the world.
I am so proud of him for figuring out the world
all over again, without the benefit of vision.
He’s a damn strong dog- I love him so.

Look at these gorgeous pups! I am such a lucky lady,
to have such marvelous canine companions.
Growing up, I was never a dog person- I always had my kitty
(Oh, don’t click on that link unless you want to cry!
I just re-read it after all these years, and bawled my eyes out.)

I liked dogs, but I never pictured myself having one of my very own.
When I was staying in New York years ago, I got really lonely.
I found I could relate to people’s dogs better than with the people
themselves. The people were closed off, tense and in a hurry.
Their dogs were always open, excited and happy to see me.
Visiting with stranger’s friendly dogs was one of the things
that got me through that rough autumn. I realized how
wonderful they are, how loyal and how brave.
Grrizelda’s happiness and relief to have finally found a home are palpable.
She was found wandering way out in the country, dumped
on the side of the road most likely. How could anyone ever do that?
Her training’s going well- she’s a smart dog, and already is
getting all the basic commands. I’m going to work really hard
to make sure that she develops into an incredible dog-friend.
I feel like I’m ready now. I think she’s the one I’ve been waiting for.
Tell me your puppy tales, please! Have any useful tips for us?
I’ve been reading a lot, and learning so much-
but there’s a lot of information out there.
I think I need a really solid book- any recommendations?
Thanks in advance, sweet folks!

Lapsang Honey

by angeliska on July 24, 2009

I really only have a teensy snoppet of time just now-
but as it happens to be Thursday,
(well it was when I started writing this, anyway!)
I feel moved to thank my lucky stars for some bits
of assorted amazingness I’ve been experiencing lately:
♡ It finally rained yesterday! We’ve been in a terrible drought lately
down here in Texas, so if you happen to have any extra rain, please
send it our way. We would be extremely grateful! Summer thunderstorms
are the best! Shivery bolts of lightning + broody dark sunset skies.
♡ In other celestial events, there was a total solar eclipse the other day-
(I’m not sure where the following is quoted from, sorry-
Miss T. Verhext sent it to me! I must ask her!)

“This extra-long eclipse, occurring at a degree that implies a pressure for resolution,
is in the sign of Cancer the Crab, who clings with tenacity. It seems, with all water signs,
that we do best by recognizing some emotional experience. Cancer, the first water sign,
hints at the most primitive emotions or stages of development —
the earliest in time or the most deeply buried in the unconscious.
Thus, both our personal histories and our collective or ancestral memories
may be the ground through which this potent eclipse moves us forward along our life path.
The total solar eclipse at 29° Cancer suggests that matters of home,
family, and past impressions are triggered to be resolved.
I suspect that we’ve all got hidden cracks in our emotional armor;
this eclipse is a profound invitation to let tenderness and vulnerability lead the way.
There may be tears, releasing memories of a long-lost (or absent) mother
or sentiments about connecting with an ultimate nourishment that tethers and binds us,
feeds us, and gives us everything we will ever need to be secure and safe in this world.
Eclipses are known to bring things to a head or indicate a release point.”

Um, yeah. Dead on! It was an extra intense one for me,
and brought up a lot of memories and thoughts about my mama.
Which brings me to the next amazing thing:
Sweet Miss Gala Darling did me
(and a lot of other ladies) an enormous service by posting an open letter
from Francesca Lia Block– go read it:
forty-five thoughts for my daughter and my virtual daughters
Reading this was so good for me, and so powerful-
I cried like I haven’t in awhile. I didn’t realize how much I needed to
read those words. It was like unlocking a floodgate.
I love Francesca Lia- she was such a magic beacon for me when
I was was, and still! I wrote her a letter when I was seventeen,
dangerously pregnant (an ectopic) in Los Angeles- and very young + afraid.
She wrote me back immediately, and made me feel so much better.
I think I would feel very lucky to be a daughter of hers.
♡ Okay, in more quotidian news- I finally broke down and got a freakin’ Iphone!
Guess what? It’s magical. I don’t think I’ve ever been more delighted and amazed
with a piece of gadgetry before. It is a good tool for me. Future-sorcery!
Also, it has a pretty killer camera for a celephone, eh?
(All of the following pictures were taken with it!)

♡ I love my jewelry class.
My teacher is a sage. He is truly the best teacher (in many subjects) that I have ever known.
I feel so lucky in his classroom, tinkering away at my various intricate projects.
See that bulbous-headed tool in the lower right-hand corner?
That’s a snarling iron! Bob made it for me, so that I could make one
of my visions real. That’s just so incredible- I feel very honored.

♡ I found this record at the shop recently:
Sweet Emma and her Preservation Hall Jazz Band
man, I ought to have snatched up this album when I had the chance!
The nice fella who bought let me snap a picture before he took it away.

Look at “Sweet Emma” Barrett!
(March 25, 1897, New Orleans, Louisiana – January 28, 1983)
She was nicknamed Bell Gal, because she wore a red skull cap
and garters with Christmas bells that jingled in time with her music.
She was featured on the cover of Glamour magazine
and written up in publications on both sides of the Atlantic.
She’s my latest inspiration. Time to make bell garters!

♡ Who is this fine fellow? Adolphe Menjou, perhaps? Maybe not.
Whoever he is, I think he’s mighty fine.

Oh, Follies!!
Go see the treasure trove of chorus girls that Miss T. found!
Talk about inspiration! Miss Virginia Biddle + Marjorie Leet
were too, too gorgeous and had diskostani style in spades!

♡ Found this wonderful wall in an old building that had been converted
into a yoga studio in Chicago. Acme bricks. Solid. A good stairwell for singing.

♡ So yes, we visited Chicago recently – and I promise to share some of those adventures soon,
but first things first: after 24 hours of no sleep, dancing late into the night, frenzied packing
and all day travel, we were ushered by our dear friends into a cool, calm bastion
of deliciousness known as Province. If you get the chance, go check out their fabulous food,
and truly stunning cocktails. Strangely curative tonics for weary and travel-tattered urchins such as we!
My favorites were these:
Pimlico GridPimm’s No. 1, Hendrick’s Gin, lemon-lime juice, ginger beer, cucumber slice
Yellow MoonDeath’s Door gin, Benedictine, St. Germain, lemon juice, lemon sweetened rim
Lapsang SazeracOld Overholt, Herbsainte, Peychaud’s and Angostura bitters, lapsang souchong syrup

♡ Also, they have walls made of moss, trees hanging from the ceiling,
and hot pink accents among all the black, white + neutral. So lovely.

♡ Oof, one more thing! My favorite meal of late! – Hoi de Bap!
Actually, I have no idea how it is transliterated from Korean-
but it’s raw sashimi chunks with salad, rice and smelt roe.
Perfect. I wish I could eat it every single day! If only.

Recurring Dreams II. – Smoke + Dust

by angeliska on July 20, 2009

First of all, I must say thank you to everyone who shared their
recurring dreams here recently. I was truly blown away by all the
rich symbolism and power in these dreams, and especially by
how open a lot of you were with your darkest fears. It really
moved me to discover how similar a lot of our most disturbing
dreams are. It makes them a little easier to interpret, and to bear.

I realized also, in reading the comments, how much addiction
turns up in our subconscious- even many years after habits
have been kicked. I can’t believe I forgot to mention one of my
most common recurring dreams: the smoking dream!
I quit smoking in January of 2006, the day after my birthday.
It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do,
and one of the best things I ever could’ve done for myself.
I started smoking when I was about 12 or 13- awful, I know!.
It was Sobranie Black Russians– I figured if I was going to ruin my health,
I had better do it in style with the very best- and they really are!
Anyhow, after many years of looking real cool and hacking up lung oysters,
I fell in love, and quickly realized that my smoking days were done.
You see, it’s hard to do something that limits your days on this earth
when you’ve found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I knew it would be utterly hypocritical to feel that way and keep smoking,
so that was it. Cold turkey, no acupuncture or nicotine gum. Nada.
I was tearful and monstrous, and after a few months it wasn’t something
I thought about too much. But I do, at least when I’m asleep.
Three years later, I still have the most vivid dreams where I’m inhaling
deeply on a cigarette, sucking it almost down to the filter. Sometimes
I realize what I’m doing and freak out. Other times, I shrug- realizing that
I’m dreaming, and that dream cigarettes aren’t harmful- or are they?

(This photo, and the ones below by Ineke Kamps)
Oh, and whilst searching for images to accompany my recurring dreams,
I stumbled upon the amazing photography of Ineke Kamps (aka. moggierocket).
How I would love to discover this secret room, awake or dreaming!
Her photos reminded me of another dream I have all the time:


MY DUSTY FORMER HOMES:
I go and visit my old houses sometimes
and find the remnants of my old life
covered in a thick grey dust.
I wander around, touching things I left behind.
It makes it very clear that past is past,
and that I can never go back-
and that’s a good thing.
Despite the heavy tone of all this, I’m actually
dancing around to Tina Turner (Sexy Ida, yeah!)
and go do frivolous lady-things, hooray!

Recurring Dreams

by angeliska on July 19, 2009

I’ve been thinking a lot about recurring dreams lately.
I had a conversation with the woman I happened to be sitting next to in the movie theater.
I’m not excatly sure right now how we got on the subject, but the subject came up.
They were showing a clip of Fantasia, and we were all wondering what year it was made.
She looked it up on her phone. Maybe there was a part in the film that she said had always scared her.
I asked her if she had tidal wave dreams, or dreamt of water. She said no,
but then a moment later told me that her recurring dreams were about
three witches coming out of volcanoes.
Neither of us had any idea what that dream could mean, but isn’t it an incredible image?
I think she must have been a very powerful woman, to be dreaming like that all the time.
Do you have recurring dreams? What are they? What do you think they mean?
Mine are these:
TIDAL WAVES


I’ve had this dream since I was little.
I used to think it indicated that I lived in Atlantis
in a past life. I discovered later that in dreams
water = emotion – aha!
Suddenly it all made sense- running from a behemoth,
a moving wall of water hundreds of stories high.
Terrified of being caught beneath it when it finally
crashes down. Most times I would wake up before then,
but sometimes it would crash over me, and then I’d be
paddling around in a salty morass of soggy papers
and suitcases and floating four poster beds,
frantically trying to rescue all my memories
from the water. I would survive it.
Mostly this dream had to do with the immense grief
I felt after my mother died when I was a little girl.
I never really dealt with it, because it was too big.
I thought that if I let myself feel all of that pain
that it would kill me. Drown me in tears.
I made some headway with those dreams-
now I pay attention to the water, the choppy currents,
the great white sharks and the little leaks and trickles
that suddenly become overwhelming floods.
I try to be aware of my emotions in the same way,
confront them and give them release before
they overwhelm me utterly and I run.
MISSING THE PARADE – MARDI GRAS COSTUME NOT FINISHED!

(Photo by Lisa Loffenn)
This is my number one anxiety dream.
Some people have anxiety dreams about
not studying for a test or being naked in public,
and I suppose this is my version of that.
In these dreams, I’ve not finished my costume
or I’ve stayed out all night and find myself at 10am
far from home and my ensemble, stranded and stressed.
Sometimes the parade passes me by, everyone bedecked
in glory, and I stand tattered and smeary, utterly crushed.
A few times I’ve dreamt that a parade (maybe Krewe de Vieux)
is passing on the street below, but I can’t get out onto the balcony
or down the stairs because my costume is too big!
Ridiculous, I know- but these really are the things I worry about.
TEETH FALLING OUT

(A still from The Deadly Spawn, 1980)

(Photo by Horrible Cherry)

(Photo by Paddy Patterson)
I only have this dream occasionally,
but I know a lot of people that have it.
So disturbing. I’ve heard lots of interpretations:
loss of control, important decisions, money worries..
I think it has to do with a loss of control,
or a loss of face. Maybe it’s different for everyone,
but it seems to be a universal stress dream.
TORNADOS

(Photo by P Josh D)
Tornados mean something very specific
in my dreams, but I’m not really sure I have words to explain it.
I’m not afraid of them. They are exciting, and somehow sentient.
Sometimes I’m driving very fast over dusty desolate roads
with my sister. We gun the engine and head straight towards
them laughing, laughing. The most significant dream I’ve
had about them
is as follows:
I see a white tornado in the distance,
a churning, whirling wraith intent on
savaging the idyllic scene I see before me:
deep slate blue sky and golden fields,
the pristine farmhouse stark and shivering..
I try to warn my companions, who are hazy
and faceless and who don’t seem to be alarmed.
I climb up on the hood of a broken-down car
for a better view, my only thought is that I
must stop this thing- somehow.
I hear a howling behind my left shoulder
and turn to see that another furious funnel
of white wind has begun to form behind me.
Without thinking, I reach into it and
separate it with my hands into two-
as you would a thick fall of hair for plaiting.
I take both cyclones in heavy handfuls
and crack them like bullwhips,
the way you do with rattlesnakes-
grabbing them by the tails,
shattering their spines
and whipping their brains out
of their mouths with a sharp snap.
Having dispersed these minor monsters,
I turn to intercept the juggernaut
rushing my way with the intention
of disposing of it by a similar method.

This may be the most intensely symbolic dream
I’ve ever had- entirely vivid, and visceral in every way.
KISSING WOLVES

I have this dream every once in awhile
where I am making out with a wolf.
It’s not some bestial thing, and it’s not
really clear if I’m a wolf or a woman,
or how the logistics of kissing wolves
really works with all those teeth and all.
Strange.
SECRET ROOMS

I’ve had this dream since I was little,
of discovering secret rooms or chambers.
One of the first dreams I can remember,
I found an enormous cathedral-like theater
in the steeple of my church. Swooping
red curtains. An apt analogy for my young
mind to make, hmm? When I lived in
a tiny baba yaga shack with only one room,
I constantly dreamed that I would find other rooms
that always been there, behind walls or partitions.
Once I dreamt of a whole second floor!
THIS CERTAIN PART OF THE FOREST

The Higgeldy-Piggledy Tree – Lullingstone Park
Photo by Glen

I find myself in this place sometimes.
NICK CAVE


I used to dream about Nick Cave constantly.
He was my number one schoolgirl crush.
I don’t guess I really need to go into major
detail regarding these, though I will say that
mainly we were having extremely engaging
conversations and strolling. Mostly.
And you? Can you interpret any of these?
I’ve heard it said that there is nothing more dull
than hearing about someone else’s dreams,
but I completely disagree! I love dreams,
and when friends have strange and fascinating ones,
it makes me love them even more.
I hate not remembering my dreams.
I love lucid dreaming, and visiting friends
and future friends there.
I have premonitory dreams,
but they’re mostly useless prophecies.
Have you ever predicted the future in your dreams?

Blue Moon Honey

by angeliska on July 7, 2009

Oh my lovelies, it seems lately I’ve been a deep sea creature-
swimming far beneath the photic zone, lost in dark blue folds
of water- oblivion lit only by my brightly bobbing lantern lure.
I’ve been trying to fight my nocturnal nixie nature, and mostly
failing miserably. One day, I will get paid to stay up all night
writing and wandering and wondering, but until then morning
comes far too soon. Voices in the dark, heard from high
on the hillside, sought in dreams- I keep waking with my head
wrapped in seaweed, in strands of stinging tentacle.
I don’t need a card reading to know I’d pull the moon.



Oh Lulu. I can’t recall if these are from Pandora’s Box
or Diary of a Lost Girl, but I’ve been thinking of her so much lately.
Have you ever read her biographies? So fierce, and so sad.
Her mother’s name was Myra Rude. She was a talented pianist
who played the latest Debussy and Ravel for her children,
inspiring them with a love of books and music.
She also determined however, that any
“squalling brats she produced could take care of themselves.”

Lost girls. Midnight blue. Fathomless oceans.
I found the snippet below from my friend Nate Tabor,
who is a luthier in Vienna (or maybe it’s Milan now)..
He composes music for harpsichord and clavichord
and is a terrible womanizer and lovable lout.
I hope he won’t mind this affectionate slander,
but when I met him he was a cultured brute
with a motorcycle and a dishwashing job
at the Thai place near our coffeehouse.
I’d see him smoking on his breaks, absorbed
in some amazing book. Sometimes I’d interrupt him
and we’d talk about studying Russian together
and going for a motorcycle ride, but we never did.
The last time I saw him here, he played my mother’s
violin in the kitchen, surrounded by beer bottles,
the music so beautiful my eyes filled with tears.
He is always writing about his lost loves,
and the very mysterious European women
he encounters on his travels.
It’s always very randy and absorbing.
He will also write for pages in German,
and he thinks no one ever reads his journal,
but he’s wrong. Nate, if you read this-
I hope you won’t mind me sharing..

“The thing that strikes me most is the confrontations in the half-lit corridors
in the middle of the night, with other people you remember, but do not quite know.
Their names are tastes on the tongue, or resemblances of sounds heard during
a scant intruduction at a party. But on that night the shadow of her moved,
and I was walking to the refrigerator to get a beer, when I saw the evening dress,
but first heard her laughter from behind the iron door.
The doors are thick iron near where the key is inserted to insure security of my violins.
I just caught a movement of her head and it was slow motioned through the lights glowing
from the floor and in the half-lit hallway. She was in the middle of laughter just as I passed
from the hallway into my room, and the sight burned itself into my head. I stood on the
other side of the thick iron door nearly trembling; what was she doing here so late by herself,
sitting in the foyer, drinking and laughing alone? The idea thrilled me to no end.
The idea of a beautiful girl dressing up for no reason but to sit alone in an old factory
and laugh to herself, for herself, with a bottle of champagne, no men or fawning flunkies
to coddle her or observe her beauty. I waiting there and heard depression era music
sunken within the hallway behind the door. It was a crooning music, which told of stories
of doomed love, the voice itself dead and yet so alive with longing.
I stood there and removed her dress in my head,
traced the shape of bone under her collar with my finger,
and dissapeared inside the wonderful laughter
which was meant never to be heard at all.”



I need to see this movie again, soon.
I’ve been reading about David Lynch’s Fox Bat Strategy project,
which I can’t wait to listen to. He was twertering recently about
one of the songs, “Almost an Angel” about “a girl I had only heard about
who broke up with her boyfriend & overdosed. It takes place as she’s dying
in some unknown part of the world.”


I really must go to Guangxi soon. Anyone up for it?
Do you have a special assignment you’d like to send me on?
An elegant junk boat, a teapot, a good carpet and a lute?
I’m all packed and ready, just let me know.

廣西壯族自治區
I was thinking we could go to:
Chengdu
Xingping
Guilin
Yizhou
and then
Vietnam
+ Cambodia
oui-oui?
Melodies + Desires – Lykke Li
This is a perfect song to fall asleep to, or wake up to.
Happy full moon! There’s an eclipse on somewhere
far from here, and it’s in my sign.
Get out there and gaze at her
before she goes to bed..
I think I’ll do just that now.