R.I.P. TODD SOBIECK – LOVE EVER, MCGILL

by angeliska on January 29, 2003

another one down..
i just read, in these amorphous pages no less,
of a friend’s death.
it happened just a little ways away
on montegut street, in the infamous purple house
that bastion of death and foul air
i saw him
just the other day..
i put a steaming cup of coffee
in front of him
we whiled away a few hours
talking
telling the stories
of how we met
of how long we had known each other
both coming here from the same town
we told someone (who was it now?)
the story
of why he called me mcgill
he sang the song, rocky raccoon
he was there-
now he isn’t,
ever.
now no one will ever call me that again.
that was his name for me
he will never again tell
the story
of how and why he came to call me that.
or the story of why he showed up
covered from head to toe in blue
why he painted himself blue one day
and went walking.
fucking overdose, another
in a long string
of friends lost this way.
the endless trail
of hapless dead.
i thought he had been clean
for ages..
i don’t look forward
to the task
of telling his other friends,
i hope someone knows
how to find his mother
and his father.
this is the worst thing
that could happen.
i’m choking on this
on these unexpected tears
on this unexpected wash of grief.
i swear,
he was just here.

8 comments

If I hadn’t found this, I wouldn’t know where Todd went or when. I lost track of him in 1999. We had our tangled tale, which wrapped from Portland to Austin, and I nearly left for New Orleans with him, but my intuition said to let him go alone. A bad connection on the phone when he called me at Star Seeds, a missed connection when I passed through NOLA (I heard he was working at Snake and Jake’s) and then nothing. Until I found this post on a livejournal page in the early Oughts. I googled his name again today, because I wanted to read it again. To know it again. Thank you for keeping this out in the webs. I miss this guy too.

by Imma Lou on January 8, 2015 at 5:40 pm. Reply #

You found his father. I miss him too. Thank you for caring for him, McGill.

by Don Sobieck on June 16, 2017 at 2:56 pm. Reply #

Hi Don. Thank you for getting in touch. What a sweet, gentle, kind son you had. I updated the title to reflect the proper spelling of Sobieck, now that I know. This post originally had some great photos of Todd and I – I can scan them in and add them, if you would like. I know what a revelation it can be to see new/old photos you’ve never seen of someone you’ve loved and lost. I would like to know more about Todd’s life and death in New Orleans sometime, if you’d ever be willing to share stories with me.

by Angeliska on June 21, 2017 at 5:02 pm. Reply #

Thank you for remembering. He was the most beautiful person I have ever known, and the most frustrating. All of the selfish parts of me miss him painfully. I wish with my whole heart I could hug him again.

by Amber Ainsworth on July 15, 2017 at 7:21 pm. Reply #

Wow! I just now found this. Todd and I had some much fun as kids growing up together in Royse City. I have so many good memories of him. The last time I saw him we all got together on one of the most memorable times I ever had I not Galveston. The most relaxing and peaceful weekends of my life. I could say so much about him.
Tim

by Tim on October 22, 2017 at 11:42 pm. Reply #

Wow! I just now found this. Todd and I had so much fun as kids growing up together in Royse City. I have so many good memories of him. The last time I saw him we all got together on one of the most memorable times I ever had In Galveston. The most relaxing and peaceful weekends of my life. I could say so much about him.
Tim

by Tim on October 22, 2017 at 11:44 pm. Reply #

Please email me or respond with a contact email. My name is Mary Beth, I’m not sure if you had spoken to Todd in the few weeks before his death but he may have spoken of me. Please email me i have some questions that I would love to see if you have information to or if you could possibly send Todd’s father, mother or brother my email and name to contact me that would be wonderful.
Anxiously awaiting a response,
Mary Beth

by Mary Beth Trahan on October 25, 2017 at 2:55 pm. Reply #

Oh man, wonder what became of old friends and find this stuff out. I knew him in high school, always liked him. My mom was cleaning old old crap and gave me some stuff from back then, got me thinking about him again. And… this.
Always loved his poetry, had a bunch of it. May still have it, haven’t looked, but I think I do.

by ghost on October 25, 2019 at 4:36 am. Reply #

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