Posts in the “FASCINATIONS” category
HAZY WINDOWS
by angeliska on August 9, 2022
When you are a wanderer in the infinite terrain of loss, you learn strange ways to cope, and to heal. Some people become experts at avoiding and deflecting all the painful memories, or toughen up into stoic, armored warriors – (…)
THE AUGUST RITUAL
by angeliska on August 9, 2021
Every year when August rolls around, my body reminds me how full of pain this month has been for me – by keeping me awake until the wee hours, joints aching, mind buzzing with anxiety, and my nervous system cycling (…)
R.I.P. LOWKEY
by angeliska on January 13, 2021
You’d think that after being with Lowkey for 15 out of his 19 years on this earth, I’d be more prepared for his passing… But it was more brutal than I’d ever prepared myself for – even with so many (…)
FALLING STARS + CACTUS FLOWERS
by angeliska on August 8, 2020
I don’t know whether I will ever be done writing about my mother. Last year, on this day, I thought I might be close. Close to being at peace, close to saying everything I’ve needed to say about her life, (…)
DOUBLE ETERNITY
by angeliska on August 9, 2019
This morning found me doodling figure eights, looping curves of lemniscates making fanciful arabesques in the margins of my diary. I sat at my kitchen table on this bright summer morning with a candle lit, writing. My friend Sophia Rose (…)
My Angelic Inheritance / The Holographic Will
by angeliska on August 8, 2018
The 8th of August has rolled around again, as it is (thankfully) wont to do, and I am rolling my feelings around in my palms like the smooth sphere of pink rose quartz I meditate with – holding them gently, (…)
ON SELF MOTHERING
by angeliska on May 12, 2018
Looking back now, I can’t remember exactly when or where on my healing journey I became aware of the undeniably unhappy presence of my inner child self. I do, however, remember very clearly the words that first helped that part (…)
Lissa and the Lion
by angeliska on October 10, 2017
I met Lissa (pronounced like “Lisa”) Driscoll nearly twenty years ago, when I first moved to New Orleans. I was only 19 or 20 then, and had just started working at an occult shop in the French Quarter notorious for (…)
12 Years – Katrina/Harvey
by angeliska on August 29, 2017
Today is the 12th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Fittingly, the first hurricane lily bloomed today, here in my garden. Symbol of hope, autumn’s harbinger, bloody reminder of the season of storms. I didn’t intend to pick it, but Snowy tried (…)
Matrescence
by angeliska on May 14, 2017
For as long as I can remember, I had always wanted to be a mother. I remember cradling my rosy plastic baby dolls lovingly, wiping their hard molded little faces, inhaling the powdery synthetic perfume of them, and feeling as (…)
