No, really.
If you do not come to my garage sale tomorrow,
I will be really perturbed, and probably beat you up.
I have enormous piles of fantastically good stuff.
You know you want it.
807 Esplanade (corner of Bourbon)
Saturday + Sunday
October 18th + 19th
If I don’t see you walking away with a giant armload of stuff,
I better see a damn good excuse.
Poverty is not one.
Seriously. Just take it.
Because I’m not going to walk it back up three flights of stairs.
Oh! and garage sales are fun, especially when they’re mine.
Also, if you happen to be walking alone one night,
and a guy in a burgundy sedan stops and asks you how to get to
a bar on Dauphine in a vaguely european accent,
don’t talk to him.
He may be masturbating.
It’s really not alright.
I mean it.
Don’t masturbate while I’m giving you directions.
It’s so rude.