Apologies for the extremely short notice, but if you’re anywhere near New York
this week, I must entreat you to hie yourself into the city to check out Foot Patrol!
They are one of my local favorite bands, known for churning their devoted fans
and even the most apathetic of hipsters into a frothing, booty-shakin’ frenzy.
For real. You see, Foot Patrol is a foot-fetish inspired funk-theater juggernaut
replete with sexy butoh dancers in cop uniforms, ripped stockings and mustaches,
a be-wigged gavel-wielding drummer, and a bad ass horn section.
It’s one of those things you really just have to experience to understand,
but I swear to you that if you make your way down to one of these shows
you will thank me profusely later. If only I could be there to shake it with you!
(Soon! I bought my tickets to NYC last night! I’m there from September 11-23rd.)

(Photo by Don Mason)
My friend Mr. Patrick Hambrecht of Flaming Fire wrote a great article
about them for Vice, which I will now quote from heavily:
“Back when Texas’s acid-punk (Butthole Surfers, Crust, Ed Hall, Helios Creed) scene
was in full swing, a lot of the musicians from those bands worked at the Texas School
for the Blind and Visually Impaired between tours, including Teresa from the Butthole Surfers,
aka that girl featured on the Slacker movie poster who tries to sell Madonna’s pap smear in the film.
And it was some of those very strange people who first discovered TJ Wade,
a pre-teen blind prodigy who could instantly play anything he heard on keyboards.

(Photo by Ish)
TJ would compose lofi funk soundtracks on a keyboard as MC Terroristic,
and then rap about which girls he likes and which teachers he wanted to blow up,
stuff like that. His lyrics regarding teachers were really, really mean, and very, very funny.
He also loved the Ruins, and covered a lot of their songs too.
So…some of the acid-punk pioneers/blind school employees recorded his first album
for him on the sly (because you can get fired for encouraging kids to sing about how
much they’d like to kill teachers), and soon he was getting offers from major labels
to work with musicians like Christina Aguilera and Alicia Keyes.”

(Photo by Emily Kinsolving)

Photo by Cory Ryan
TJ Wade: “I’ve always been open about [my foot fetish]. I developed one at the age of 10.
We’d play footsies with each other, and at 13, that’s when it got extreme.
I didn’t write my first foot fetish song until ’05—“Foot Party Anthem”—
and that’s what really kicked it off. A big shout out to everyone that gets it.
To those who don’t get it, they’ll get it soon. They’ll be infected with the funk
once they’ve heard us. I love feet and making music about feet,
and if it’s all right for people to dance to, that’s the most important thing.”

(Photo by Cory Ryan)
Seriously- What the foot? Go see them, if you know what’s good for you:
If you hustle, you can catch them tonight at Goodbye Blue Monday
Friday, August 7th at Union Pool with Light Asylum,
Rubber Room Rats, and Evolution Revolution – 10 pm
Saturday, August 8th at Highline Ballroom in Manhattan/Chelsea District
with Flaming Fire, Four Legged Baby, and Crime Scene – 7:00 pm