A Birthday For Frances!

I feel I must take this moment to celebrate the whelping
of one of my oldest and dearest friends, .

We’ve been friends since before we had armpit hair.
That’s fourteen years of friendship, ya’ll! Damn!
If you know her, you know that she’s one of the
most vibrant, incredible and amazing women
you’ll ever be likely to meet.
She shares a birthday with
Mikhail Baryshnikov
Donna Reed
William Randolph Hearst Jr.
Lewis Carroll
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
and
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
-which incidentally somehow
explains a lot.
Today she is
324 months
1,409 weeks
9,862 days
236,704 hours
14,202,272 minutes
852,136,368 seconds old.
In dog years that is 3.85988258317025 years old.
There are 365 days till her next birthday
on which her cake will have 28 candles.
Those 28 candles produce 28 BTUs,
or 7,056 calories of heat.
You can boil 3.20 US ounces of water with that many candles.
The moon’s phase on the day
she was born was waning crescent.

She’s also really, really strong
(In lots of ways)..
But I can still pick her up
and carry her around!

Many happy returns of the day, dollface!