Hello there. I am floating in the middle of the ocean.
No, but really- I am. Trapped inside a giant old Norwegian
beast-tanker called ‘The Perla’ with a lot of boorish,
obstinant, overweight tacky eurotrash tourists.
I feel like I’m in The Shining.
I’m in the Overlook Hotel, except it’s during season
and filled to the gills with horrid guests, who are
all extremely creepy. And kind of mean. With smelly kids.
These people never smile. They’re all on vacation,
seeing incredible things every day- and if you smile
at them, they look somewhat pained- like maybe they just discovered
a rotten piece of carp in the the place where their tongues once were.

I just keep waiting for the lift to explode in a blood-gore tsunami.
And the little twin girls who want me to come play with them
fovever and ever and ever.. Please god, let it be soon.
No, but really- it’s hilarious, and so bizarre that I can’t help
from cackling hysterically at all these big-haired, big-assed
bleached denim, non-ironic mullet wearing grumpy cantankerous people.
If it’s not a Kubrick film over here, it’s a Fellini.
Did I mention the food is hideous?
Honestly, we really are having a lovely time though.
Grampa keeps astounding me with his energy and sanguine attitude-
he is the best travel partner ever.
I’ve made friends with most of the crew now, who are all
amazingly cheerful and Ukrainian or Romanian if not Filipino or Greek.
But they get in trouble for fraternizing too much with guests, so..
Tomorrow we dock in Patmos to see
THE GROTTO OF THE APOCALYPSE
where the book of revelations was written..
Hooray! And then a jaunt to Turkey to go a-bazaaring!
In the Clipper Lounge there’s electronic bouzouki and pictionary.
I don’t think I know what I’m missing.
The carpet in there is stained salmon and teal leopard spots, I do not lie.

Oh, and by the way-
I’ve never seen a more glorious or compelling ocean.
The Aegean is the deepest blue I’ve ever seen..
I floated in it for awhile today, and collected pretty stones
while fish nibbled at my salt-soaked toes.
I’m on a boat in the middle of the sea-
I just keep repeating over and over:
The wine-dark sea.
The wine-dark sea.
The wine-dark sea.

It’s so beautiful I get overtaken by a terrible sense of vertigo
sometimes when I’m standing on deck. I have to grip the railing
so as not to fling myself into it.