A friend of mine is looking for a roomate.
This is his advertisement for such.
Any takers?
BI-RECTANGULAR ROOM SEEKS ROOMMATE FOR ONE WHO RENTED APARTMENT XXX BLOCKS FROM HERE BECAUSE THE LIGHT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL STREAMING IN A DIFFERENT COLOR EACH MORNING (HE GUESSED — AND IT WAS TRUE ONE DAY HE AWOKE TO A HAZE OF PEACH BILE) AND HE COULD HEAR THE TRAINS CHOKING AND THE MOST RETARDED OF CHURCH BELLS AND SO HE SWOOPED IN LIKE A BLIND OSPREY BECAUSE HE COULDN¹T REALLY AFFORD IT (TO PAY FOR HIS PRAY — AND WHO RENTS GAME AND THEN BURROWS INSIDE ITS FLESH TO KEEP WARM ANYWAY, WHO BUT EVERY ONE OF US? OH WHAT A NUMBING HORROR, WHAT A BORE, THE BLOOD POOLING IN OUR FINGERTIPS, WHAT¹S HAPPENED TO US ALL, WE USED TO GO BLIND ECSTATICALLY STARING INTO EACH OTHER, ABSOLUTELY DAZZLED NOW WE¹RE SUCKED DRY BY THIS HOMOGENIZATION, OUR MUMMIFIED SOULS COLLAPSING INTO DUST BORN ON THIS WIND OF TEPID GENOCIDAL CONFUSION, WHITING OUT) BUT HE WAS NOT THINKING CLEARLY, NOT REALLY A CONSISTENTLY RATIONAL PERSON, TO BE HONEST DAZED AT THE LOSS OF HIS CASTRATI (IN THE FIRE) AND CHERUBS (SEIZED AND AUCTIONED BY THE POLICE) AND THE LOOMING BANKRUPTCY HEARING WHERE THE COURT WILL TAKE UP THE DRIPPING CAUL AROUND ITS SCALED THROAT AND SQUEAL LEERINGLY, NO PUNISHMENT TOO SEVERE TO RECTIFY SUCH CRIMINAL ACTS AS BASE SURVIVAL AND WANTING TO BE LOVED, AND LEAPING FROM THE STAND AND STRUTTING ABOUT THE PROSCENIUM ON ITS COCKFEET EJACULATING GREEN PUS THAT IS IMMEDIATELY PRESSED INTO CURRENCY AND DRIED ON THE LINE NEXT TO THE HOLLOW SKINS OF ANYONE YOU THINK YOU HOLD DEAR, AND THE SEMI-UNSUCCESSFUL MANIFOLDUALITY — ALWAYS PAINFULLY SEXUAL: BEING IN AND OF EXISTENCE, AND THE BREAKUP OF HIS LONG-STANDING ROMANCES WITH SEVERAL COUNTRIES WHO LOVED HIM AND LIKED FUCKING HIM AND CLAIMED THEY COULDN¹T STAY UNIFIED AND UNWARLIKE WITHOUT HIM BUT WHO WOULD NOT AGREE TO LET DOWN THEIR BORDERS AND THERE¹S NO ROOM FOR DEFENSIVENESS LIKE THAT IN A RELATIONSHIP EFFECTING INFINITE NUMBERS AND HE¹S BEEN FORCED TO GRIND THEM UNDER HIS HEEL FOR THEIR OWN GOOD AND NOW EVEN HIS STRONG PHYSICAL ATTRACTION FOR CERTAIN FORMS OF ARCHITECTURE HAS SOURED AS HE REALIZES ENTERING ANY ³OWNED² ROOM IS NOT ONLY PAYING TO LITERALLY ENTER A WHORE OR A WHORIFIED SPACE BUT PENETRATING THEM WHILE AT THE SAME EXACT MOMENT EJACULATING INTO YOUR TRUE FETISH FULFILLMENT: THEIR PIMP STABBING ALL THE MONEY YOU FORKED OVER TO THEM (BELIEVING THEY LOVED YOU JUST A LITTLE, NEEDING TO) RIGHT OUT OF THEIR SPIT-CRUSTED HAND AND BEATING THEM WITH A SHOVEL IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU LAUGH AND LAUGH (WHEN IN WORLD, WHEN IN AMERICA, WHEN IN ROME…) AND THEN ALL THREE OF YOU SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS (IF YOU HAVE SHOULDERS), LOOK THE OTHER WAY, AND DIVE IN AGAIN, AND THE DIZZINESS AND LOSS OF BLOOD AND SELF-IMMOLATION SHOOK HIM AND THE MADNESS BOUND HIM AND CHUCKED HIM ACROSS THE ROOM LIKE A DIRT CLOD AGAIN AND AGAIN TILL HIS BONES SHATTERED AND MOSS GREW OUT FROM HIS TEETH AND THE INSTINCTUAL UNQUESTIONING BELIEF IN THE DEATH OF ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS LEFT HIM IN GLOWERING LONGING FOR A TOTALLY INVENTED PAST (BECAUSE HE NEVER RETURNED THEIR LETTERS AND CALLS — DUE TO HIS STAGGERING, WONDROUS AGONY — AND NOW THEY HAVEN¹T CALLED AND SO BETRAYED HIM UTTERLY AND ALL THEIR TERRIBLE HUMILIATING DEATHS ONE BY ONE — GOT HIS BELT BUCKLE CAUGHT ON THE MIRROR OF A SPEEDING CAR, SLIPPED ON OWN GREASE, WHAT IF I HIT MY HEAD WITH THIS HAMMER, WHAT IF I SHOOT MY HEAD — IN ANY CASE FAR PREFERABLE TO THE HOPELESS SENSE OF ABANDONMENT).
ABOUT YOU, MY SWEET: PREFERABLY YOU SHOULD BLAME THE WORLD AND OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF AS A FIRST RESORT IN ALMOST ALL SITUATIONS BEFORE GIVING IN TO YOUR SELF-LOATHING AND SELFISHLY TAKING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD ONTO YOUR SHOULDERS AND NOT LETTING ME FORGET IT, LIMPING AROUND ME LIKE A SYPHILITIC BITCH MUTTERING, I¹M ATLAS, NOT YOU, I¹M NO GOOD AT ANYTHING AND NO ONE CARES. THE ROOM WILL NOT LET YOU LIVE UNLESS YOU ADMIT TO HAVING AT LEAST A YEOMAN-LIKE EFFICIENCY AT SOMETHING YOU HAVE A VAGUE AFFINITY FOR; OTHERWISE IT WILL SUCK ALL THE AIR OUT OF ITSELF AND THE FLOOR WILL CAVE IN TO DROP YOU INTO A PIT OF STAKES, WILD BEASTS, AND QUICK LIME (BUT AT LEAST YOU WILL SEE ALL THE HEROES FROM ALL MYTHOLOGIES WHO HAVE EVER FALLEN INTO STAKED PITS STARING HOLLOWLY UP AT YOU, THE WORMS IN THEIR EYES WAVING, WELCOME LOVER, COMRADE.
PREFERABLY YOU SHOULD BE FURIOUS AT THE WORLD FOR CALLING YOU INSANE JUST BECAUSE YOU¹RE PASSIONATE ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS AND ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT LEARNING AND CHANGING AND EVOLVING OUT OF THIS HUMAN MESS INTO A MUCH MORE EXCUSABLE SPECIES, ANYTHING, EVEN A BERETTA OR KALASHNIKOV, A SPECIES THAT
IS MORE EMPATHETIC AND PEACEFUL
STOPS MAKING EXCUSES AND ADMITS IT¹S AN ANIMAL AND HUNTS AND KILLS ACCORDING TO ITS NECESSITY.
MARKS ITS TERRITORY, IF IT MUST, ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE BUILDING BUT NOT INSIDE THE APARTMENT.
HAS A DEEP APPRECIATION FOR NOT KNOWING.
WHETHER BATHING IN GORE, TREMBLING AT A KISS OR CUCKOLDING CRUELTY, CEASES TO DECEIVE ITSELF.
PREFERRED: SOMETIMES CALM WOMEN OR SOMETIMES EMASCULATED MEN THOUGH IF A REFUSAL OF GENDER SPECIFICATION IS YOUR CAKE, HAVE SOME CAKE. NO BUTCHERY WITHOUT PRIOR ARRANGEMENT, NO BOILING ROADKILL IN THE KITCHEN, THE STENCH IS TOO OVERPOWERING, PLEASE BELIEVE ME, SO WE WILL BE FORCED TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE. HAVE A LOVE FOR BONES, EXPERIMENTAL EVERYTHING, WORK THAT MEANS SOMETHING, CHANGE THE BODY CHANGE THE BRAIN MODERN JAPANESE DANCE ANTI-DANCE, BLOOD, TRANSFORMATION, INVOCATION, THE RAW, THE NAKED, THE FORGOTTEN, THE NERVE ENDINGS, THE IGNORED, THE INSANE, THE THROWN AWAY, THE SHUT OUT, THE INVISIBLE. TO THE FUCKING GRAVEYARD WITH THE TYRANNY OF CATEGORIES CANNONS STATIC DEFINITIONS AND IMPREGNABLE SYSTEMS OF BELIEF DEATH TO KNOWING DEATH DEATH DEATH MAY THE PROFESSIONS CHOKE ON THEIR OWN BLOATED GUTS MAY WE DANCE IN THEIR BLOOD AND MAKE MUSIC WITH THEIR BONES DEVOUR THEM AND SHIT THEM INTO ANGELS
DO NOT HAVE A TV THAT GETS CHANNELS, THE ROOM ATTACKS TVS THAT GET CHANNELS WITH A HATCHET AND FLINGS THEM AT THE BIRDS SCREAMING STATIC AND OBLITERATING V-FORMATIONS THUS FACE-FUCKING WEATHER PATTERNS CAUSING HURRICANES IN THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES WHERE THEY ARE ALREADY DYING COVERED IN SORES AND BLEEDING PURPLE MAGGOTS FROM THE ASS AND SEVERED LIMB STUMPS BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TELEVISION IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU GREEDY ALL-CONSUMING LITTLE SCUMBAG I LOVE YOU BUT I¹M SERIOUS. IF YOU TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PIECES OF MEAT AND I CATCH YOU, I WILL FORCE YOU TO EAT THEM TO MAKE SURE WE REALLY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER AND IF YOU TREAT PEOPLE LIKE PIECES OF MEAT AND DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO NOT EAT THEM, I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU AND EAT YOU LIKE THE PIECE OF MEAT YOU ARE.
JUST BECAUSE EVERYBODY DOES IT AND HAS TO DO IT OR MAKES SOMEONE DO IT FOR THEM DOES NOT MAKE IT OK.
SO SAYING, IT¹S ABOUT 300.00 A MONTH PLUS HALF OF ALL THE OTHER STUFF, WE¹LL TRY TO WORK IT OUT, IT¹S A TOUGH BUSINESS ALL THE WAY AROUND SO THERE¹S NO REASON TO TAKE IT OUT ON EACH OTHER, NOT HERE, NOT NOW, WHERE WE¹RE ALREADY HANGING ON TO EACH OTHER SO DESPERATELY, TRYING TO CLING TO LIFE, I KNOW THE VULTURES ARE GOING TO KEEP PICK PICK PICKING AND THE HYENAS ARE TEARING AWAY BUT I LOVE YOU.
PREFERRED: THAT YOU WERE ME AND THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR ME.
940-0505