I’m in a filthy, filthy mood.
Hackles up in full flower,
my latent misanthropy is at an all-time high.
The only thing I really want to do right now
is sit on someone’s chest and punch them in the face
until they have no more teeth left.
Honestly, though- normally (meaning, when I’m unprovoked)
I am a very kind and friendly person.
But not just now.
Also, I’ve got to design intertitle cards
for the silent film we made, which is being edited now.
I’ve been hunting for inspiration and the right fonts,
successfully avoiding the dreadful toil of packing, still yet.
Here’s a game I invented:
“Which Silent Film Intertitle Illustrates You Best?”
The Coward – The gay day — the Gray day — when War’s finger beckoned and men obeyed, stepping across destiny’s threshold toward the battle-reddened horizon where Death and Glory stood hand in hand.
Hoodoo Ann -She invents a test of cleanliness that was never found in the pages of the Homely Ladies Journal.
Intolerance – “We must destroy or be destroyed.”
The Ocean Waif – “He lifted the stone. There lay the skeletons of a dozen men—”
The False Faces – “So – you verdammtes Prussian schwein– I find you thus!”
Orphans of the Storm – Inflamed by Henriette’s virginal beauty, the Marquis orders La Fleur to abduct her at any hazard.
The Prisoner of Zenda – “While you’re unhung, Hentzau, hell lacks its master!”
Three Ages – Somehow he vaguely remembered that somewhere — sometime — somebody made friends with some lion by doing something to some of its paws.
Girl Shy – He was so afraid of girls that he made a secret study of them, and the more he studied them the more he feared them.
The Sea Hawk – “Until you give me satisfaction, I’ll horsewhip you every time we meet!”
Romola – “For the love of St. Giovanni, woman, throw your own vegetables!”
The Unholy Three – “Tweedledee! Twenty inches! Twenty years! Twenty pounds! The Twentieth Century Curiosity!”
Parisian Love – “You snuff-smelling, absinthe-gargling Frochard – I am leaving you now! Forever!”
The Black Pirate -It was the custom of THESE PIRATES to SUBDUE their prey, LOOT the ship, BIND their captives and BLOW THEM UP.
The Bat – “For twenty years I’ve stood by you through Socialism, Theosophism and Rheumatism – – but I draw the line at Spookism!”
Tramp, Tramp, Tramp – At the Crossroads of the World – shall he take the Primrose Path or the Easiest Way?
Midnight Faces – “The cat is dead!”
Laugh, Clown, Laugh – “Count Ravelli, your spells of uncontrollable laughter are due to a life of self-indulgence.”
The Wedding March – “I’ll kick his glass-eyed mug to goulash! –”
Our Dancing Daughters – “Wouldst fling a hoof with me?”
A Lady of Chance – “I never realized how uninteresting cement was until I met you.”
The Iron Mask – “Your own damnable invention will be your doom.”
The Scarlet Letter – “Wood-pussy!”
The Man from Beyond – Then loomed what seemed the fancy of a fevered brain! A ship! An ancient square-rigged hulk, phantom-like on the rim of the frozen world, the plaything of the ever-shifting ice
Hypocrites – The people are shocked by the nakedness of truth
Young Romance – “IF YOU TURN YOUR HEAD, I’LL BLOW IT OFF.”