my, my..what an exceedingly long day it has been..
i rode my beloved bicycle many miles through summer storms in which i was pelted by fat juicy joyous raindrops that plopped down out of invisible clouds in the bright sunshine..
..you know..they say that if it rains whilst the sun is shining that the devil is beating his wife..
i was chased by that happy shower’s evil big brother and his mighty battalion of dark thunderheads and ominous rumbling down to the bayou (yes, there really is a bayou here)
through the twisted oaks and crepe myrtles exploding crimson and white and fuschia..bumpity-bump on my too-soft tires over cracked and root-warped sidewalks, past decayed mansions and antebellum homes..ah esplanade, my favorite street- and i’m so lucky i get to live on it!
all this just on the way to the dentist! who turned out to be terribly nice and smart and made me feel very confortable and relaxed, even confident,
about this upcoming root canal- shocking, really..
..especially after my protracted nightmare with ceaucescu the sadistic dentist from hell (think, little shop of horrors) she told me to call her kayla, and when i left she gave me a hug! how odd! i’ve never been hugged by my dentist before..
i feel somewhat special..
then on to treat myself to delectables from asswholepaycheck foods, where i somehow managed to dump two whole cartons of beautiful fat blueberries all over the floor! damn poltergeists at it again! always trying to make me look clumsy and inept!
i wish someone would come exorcise these imps who mar my obvious inate grace..
i swear it’s them, not me..but it was kind of fun chasing a those little roly-poly blue bastards all over the linoleum..and they even let me get two more cartons..you’d think they’d learn not to trust me with those things..and i got blueberry flavoured milk from non-hormonally imbalanced cows! yum! and sparkly water in a curvy cobalt bottle..and rosewater in a little blue bottle..and veggie booty! yay! i love it when i am good and get treats..
but then i realized that i am very, very bad..
it suddenly hit me after i treated myself for being so responsible, as i was lugging my beauteous bounty home on me back, that i had forgotten something terribly important..
my court date.
oops.
so i guess i have a warrant out for my arrest now.
for, get this- the most devious of all crimes ever committed..
..having the unbelievable audacity to get run over
by some rich-sod-fucker driving a jaguar!
this whole situation is so sick, really..
i must do something about that tomorrow-
i’m a fugitive from the law!
out of all the crimes i may have actually committed,
it truly bites to be persecuted and prosecuted
for the one in which i was the victim..ack!
meeting for cabaret re-voltaire went very well i thought..lots of new artists..paranoid asian boys on too many drugs freaking out and giggling in the corner, strange photographers and sexy ladies, plans being set, chaos being brewed, a small chunk of new orleans history hopefully being made,
and raspberry almond coffeecake and too many cigarettes..
tonight they sprayed citrus-scented poison everywhere to kill the west nile mosquitoes..
it makes me dizzy and my chest hurt..very scary..