Corazones quebrados y perros ciegos

by angeliska on May 10, 2009

Oh my stars, what a week it’s been-
and if only it were just the stars and other
mischievous celestial bodies to blame for
all this sadness and trouble. Certainly, though
they’ve played their part- that hazy yellow pearl
of a full moon in Scorpio seemed to be laughing
at us foolish mortals with our tragedies and terrors.
Don’t even get me started about Mercury Retrograde.

I’ve been dwelling on the recent deaths of two
talented and beautiful young men I knew- Sasha and Steve.
They didn’t know each other-
and maybe I didn’t really know either of them.
They both left too soon, and I’m not sure what
it is that I feel- but my heart hurts.

Furthering the fissures in the cracked tea-cup of my heart-
we made the terrible discovery that our beloved dog-friend
has suddenly become totally blind. Detached retinas.
We’ll hopefully soon find out which of the multitude of
possible causes is responsible- and there’s a chance
that they could re-attach. I’m going to try and be hopeful,
but it’s hard to see him like this- and to think that he may
never get to chase squirrels or sticks again.
We’ll have to be his seeing-eye people!
It’s heartbreaking to see him bump into things-
and to have only his blank, questioning stare
when he used gaze into our eyes so soulfully.

(Photo by Chip Warren)
So please light a candle for our pup
Thelonious, for the traveling souls of those fine fellows,
and for your mama- wherever she may be.

(Bywater Church- I can’t recall who took it.. Perhaps Jose Fernandes?)
I don’t have a lot of words right now, and the ones I do have
I’m sending over phone lines to far-flung dear ones-
so instead, a series of images to illustrate a black mood,
meditations on death and love and all.
Oh yes, and happy Mother’s Day (no, really!)
to all the mamas. Thank you for all you do.
Soon I will have more flowers to festoon,
but in the meantime- I give you from the bee-log archive:
thoughts from Mother’s Days past:
Mother’s Day
Todo Sobre Mi Madre
No idea where the following are from,
so if you know- do enlighten me!
Lately, I’ve been feeling an awful lot like this:

Or this:

Also this:

Photograph by Alison Scarpulla
So aware all the time lately of the circle.
Sowing, reaping, birthing, dying
and over and over.
It is hard and it is good


poor girlie….and poor pup, too. strange how trouble and sadness seem to come in whole lumps and groupings. i’m saying a little prayer for sweet thelonious…

by katinka on May 10, 2009 at 9:07 am. Reply #

You are loved mami. Call if you need a thing.

by Heather Coffey on May 10, 2009 at 11:11 am. Reply #

My candle is lit for Thelonius. I love you.

by Sienna O'Banion on May 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm. Reply #

magical wishes from phoenix for sight without eyes and room to heal.

by suzanne on May 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm. Reply #

Oh puppy!!!! Poor dear… is there any chance of them reattaching?

by Amelia Valentine on May 10, 2009 at 4:33 pm. Reply #

before i left the lower ninth home i had in new orleans my neighbor was horribly murdered and the indication i had that something was wrong was that at dusk her blind dog was walking around in tight circles in front of our house

by sylvio on May 10, 2009 at 8:43 pm. Reply #

Holly Go Lightly called them the “mean reds” … and I think of them as the black blues … whatever the description, my heart goes out to you during this time of sadness. Its never easy to experience death, especially when it happens to those who were young and had the chance of so many adventurous decades ahead of them in this life. And the incredible helplessness of watching an animal companion become ill is the worst thing that I have ever experienced. I am sending healing thoughts to Thelonious on the wings of little fairies who have escaped the needles of sickness and want to spread health and good wishes his way. Blessings!

by Susanne Lynette on May 12, 2009 at 12:03 am. Reply #

I guess I’m a strange one… I do feel sorry for the poor fellows who’s lives were cut short…but I did not know them.
But I feel like I know all animals…I am overflowing with sympathy for your dog loosing his sight.
I’m sure he is in good hands when you said you would be his “seeing eye people”.
And…a photo really is worth a thousand words. The last three you used to describe how you felt really got the point across.

by Sue on May 12, 2009 at 9:50 pm. Reply #

What are the first two images in this post? I’ve never seen anything like them before..they look like 1910, but I don’t know the method or artist..

by b on May 20, 2009 at 2:38 pm. Reply #

poor poor beautiful soul. i am so sorry about your pup; how is he these days? any developments (for the better, i hope)? i too will light a candle and send wishes thelonius’ way.
as for the pictures, the last one is wonderful wonderful magickal alison scarpulla ; you will fall instantly in love with your flickr stream.

by annie on May 23, 2009 at 7:16 pm. Reply #

EVERYBODY: Thank you so much for your thoughts and sweet words. We really appreciate it. Thelonius sends you puppy kisses.
B: They are Diablerie Stereoscope cards from turn-of-the-century France! They look like little sculpted dioramas. Maybe a post on those soon too, eh?
ANNIE: Thank you darling. Some developments, not really great ones- but maybe we’ll know what caused it soon?
Oh my goodness, thank you for enlightening me to the existence of Miss Scarpulla.
She’s going to get her own post here very soonly!

by Angeliska on June 4, 2009 at 11:59 am. Reply #

[…] deaths I’ve ever mourned, and I still dream about him all the time. He was my familiar. Thelonious is my old man prince, whose company I have had the pleasure of keeping for the last 8 years. […]

by One Hundred Years « Angeliska Gazette on January 20, 2014 at 12:28 pm. Reply #

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